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Joining the Parlor

Joining takes six steps. You can stop at any point and pick up where you left off.

For littles

Take your time with the questions. Honest answers help the matchmaker find someone kind for you. Some answers are only for the matchmaker and are never shown to anyone else.

1. Apply​

  1. Open the Parlor and tap 📝 Begin my application.
  2. Tick all three boxes: I am 18 or older, I am single / available for a new dynamic, and I pledge to be honest — no fakes, flakes, or ghosting.
  3. Choose I am a… (Little, Caregiver or Switch) and Looking for a… (Caregiver, Little or Either).
  4. Pick how the Parlor should feel for you.
  5. Tap Submit application →.

2. Get your Match Pass​

Every member needs a Match Pass. It is a one-time $20 payment and lasts for life. The fee keeps out scammers, bots and time-wasters.

  1. Tap 🧡 Get your Match Pass on Patreon and buy the Match Pass one-time offer.
  2. You receive a claim code that looks like MATCH-XXXX-XXXX.
  3. Back in the Parlor, type the code into the box and tap Redeem.

Each code works once. If you see That code is invalid or already used, check for typos. If it says Finish your application first, complete step 1.

If you were given a founding membership, the Parlor tells you your pass is on the house and you skip this step.

Free for caregivers right now​

The Parlor has more littles than caregivers right now, so the Match Pass is free for caregivers, and for switches looking for a little. If that's you, this step shows a ☕ Caregivers join free right now card. Tap ☕ Claim your free caregiver pass and you go straight on to the questionnaire. There's no code to enter.

  • Only members who can claim it see the card. It depends on the role and who you're looking for in your application, and on whether your matchmaker has the offer switched on.
  • Once you claim it, it's yours for good. It's tied to the caregiver role, so changing your application to a little role later would need a regular pass. Your matchmaker can help.

The Long Way In (free)​

If $20 is not possible, the Can't swing $20? The Long Way In (free) card on the same screen offers a free pass you earn over time.

  1. First, your account needs to be at least 14 days old and at network level 5 or higher. The card shows both as checkboxes.
  2. Tap 🕰️ Start the Long Way In.
  3. Wait 7 days, finish all six orientation courses (not just the core three), and complete 100% of the questionnaire.
  4. When everything is done, the pass is granted automatically and you go straight to review.

Members on the Long Way In are reviewed after members who bought a pass.

3. The questionnaire​

Open it from the Parlor home or go to /intake. It is relationship-first: the sections about you as a person count the most in matching.

The sections are:

  • 🔒 You, privately
  • 🌻 The person behind the role
  • 💬 How you love & argue
  • 🧭 What you're building
  • 🎭 Your role & who you seek
  • 🏡 The dynamic you want
  • 🍼 Your little side (littles and switches)
  • ☕ The care you offer (caregivers and switches)
  • ✨ Beyond the dynamic
  • 🛡️ Limits & dealbreakers
  • 💌 In your own words

How to fill it in:

  1. Choose a Display alias (what matches will see). This is required, and it is the only name others see.
  2. Work through one section at a time and tap 💾 Save · Continue →.
  3. A meter shows how complete you are. The Parlor home shows how many required answers are left and a Pick up where you left off → button.

Answers marked 🔒 are for your matchmaker only and are never shown to other members. These include your real first name, age, region, the age range you are looking for, and Anything you want ONLY your matchmaker to know.

4. Orientation​

Open Courses from the Parlor home or go to /orientation. There are six short courses. Three are core and required:

  • ⭐ Safety First, Always
  • ⭐ Radical Honesty
  • ⭐ How the Parlor Works

The other three are optional (required on the Long Way In): Healthy CG/l Relationships, Communication & Repair, and Meeting Safely.

  1. Read each lesson and tick I read it all — promise.
  2. Finish each course with a short quiz. Every answer must be right. If you miss one, reread the lesson and try again. There is no penalty.

5. Review​

When your core courses are done, your matchmaker reviews you personally. The Parlor shows Your matchmaker is reviewing you 🎀 and a gentle tip each day while you wait.

You will get a bell when the review is done:

  • You've been approved! You are active and can receive introductions.
  • About your Parlor application if it was not approved this time. The Parlor shows Not this time and any note from your matchmaker. If you are allowed to reapply, tap 🌱 Start again to go back to the questionnaire.

Your matchmaker can also pause a membership. While paused you see You're paused and no introductions arrive until you are resumed.

6. Active​

Once active, you are in the pool. See Introductions for what happens next.

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